Having A Blast!

Monday, April 19, 2010

WWWAAAHHH!

today. when i woke up, i still have this feeling from ytd. i want to scream! shout! scold someone! and whack someone! im so frustrated! i just want to forget everything. i tried to make myself busy. and its so weird that im scolding myself every now and then. seriously. i look like a retard. and another stupid thing. her house no. called me and i didn't pick it up. i didn't notice that some was calling me. so fucked up sia. whole day never talk to her and when i have the chance im not able to notice it. ARRGGH! >:( dunno lah today short temper sia. im not happy. still have this burden and still thinking of what THEY ALL told me. still scared of what my parents might say and react when THEY ALL tell them.

so later part of the day when we were all eating dinner. suddenly.
my mom said this. "ytd, hindi ako nakapunta ng simbahan. sakit kasi ulo ko. lam niyo ba, dami ko napanaginipan. iba iba.".
im thinking "oh. ok." lol. here comes the shocking part!..
my mom said. (translated in English) "In my dream, there was... (im thinking who sia) sino ba yun. si CHIN CHIN, si stephanie (WHAT! ALMOST SWALLOWED A WHOLE CHICKEN NUGGET!). she's with Inay (she means my lola) and Belen. Everybody there. (she means all my relatives)"
then stupid therenz keep looking at me.
My father asked my mom. "bakit kaya? BAKA MAGIGING MANUGANG MO SIA!" then he laughed.
Im thinking. what the hell! maybe its just a coincidence.
so everybody keep quiet. therenz still looking at me.
after 10seconds. my mom ask. "Theo, NAGING KAYO BA NI STEPHANIE?"
im was wondering. "why are you asking me? you can ask therenz right? why me? you know something already is it?" then i just stared the other way in silence.
then she ask me the second time so what i did was tell them the truth. actually half truth. i said " OPOH, DATI"
Then my mom proudly say this. "SABI KO NA NGA BA EH! DAIG PA SI THERENZ"
she added " Kaya pala napapatingin sa akin ung bata. actually, last sunday. nakakaramdam na ako eh."
my mom knows or can feel everything. i think i get some of that from her.
then she ask. "when was it? bakit? ano nanyari sa inyo?"
i told her half of the story only. i said "mga 1 week lang kami, then her parents knew about it. told bro harvey and then you know. sis. nancy don't want those kind of relationship."
my mom said. "Kaya nga wag kayo pipili ng taga simbahan. look at levi, no problem coz nobody will kepo his life ( i said kepo coz i dunno how to translate. lol). kung sila brother ren nga pinakailaman. kayo pa kaya."
then my father said. "hindi n nadala c theo. it already happened last time and still want to repeat."
my mom ask. "what did you see in stephanie?"
i just keep quiet. i just dunno what to say. then i ask them. what's with brother ren?
they said. when they just started joining the church. the church like kepo to their life also. church say cannot be together and cannot do this, cannot do that. now never already. but you see how old brother ren and they still kepo. then i said. oh... ok....
then my mom told my father. "KAYA PALA MAGILIW SA ATIN SILA YOLLY" means sister yolly were lively around my parents. like talk to them nicely like that.
then my mom told me that they were disappointed that i never told them. but i can't tell them that it just happened ytd. still scared. lol.. i no ball. hahaha.

i felt a bit happy. like there was light. haha. now i can smile already. but im still scared of what they will say if they knew what really happened. what we and THEY ALL talked about. how i lied to my LEADERS... but atleast. still make me happy to see there reaction like that...

tmr. maybe brother ren going my house for bible study. anyways. I REALLY MISS HER SO MUCH! didn't talk to her today. im so clueless... haay. just hoping that there is something else tmr. even if its just a small talk. i just want to know if she is ok. if she is fine. AND I WANT TO SEE HER! maybe im still sad after all. but not so sad. hehe. ILOVE MY NaNa! I REALLY LOVE HER! JUST GIVE US THE CHANCE! PLEASE!

-11:59 PM