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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

STILL WAITING.

woke up around 10.30. first thing came into my mind. MY HANDPHONE! hehe. got 5msgs and i think 4missed calls. all from NaNa. FINALLY! after one whole day of no connection. hahaha. im happy but not so happy lah. you know. yeah. that. hmm. so yeah. that one. haha. i replied and im slowly dozing off. then suddenly my handphone vibrate. haha. answered and its NaNa. so happy. haha. short talk. then her tchr came. so end of call.

afternoon she called again. yeah. we had a long talk. confessions. yeah. i was really sad. but i have to say that its ok. SORRY Na. I told her that I understand. hmm. I do understand because we're new and I experienced it for the 3rd time now. but I can't get myself to fully accept it. I know it takes time. so all I have to do is to "WAIT". again. haay.

another thing. i know that i love her. its not by appearance. its not lust. i know its not lust like some people says. but there is something. really. there is something I like or see in her that others don't. the problem is. i don't know how to explain. or i don't know how to say it. so i can't answer her properly. I don't know if people can see that I love her. I don't know if I'm showing it properly. I don't know if she can feel my love. but i know i love her. i really love her even though we've only been together for a short time. I'm sure that my love is not a FAKE LOVE. I'm sure that I love her because I love her. I REALLY DO LOVE HER. So someone tell me what is wrong? please.

and yet. another thing. i don't understand why there are things that i don't know about myself that others do. things that are spreading about me without me knowing that i did something bad. i'm not scared because i know i didn't do something wrong. its bothering me because i don't want people to judge me. and i don't want something to happen between me and her. i just want to know but again. i have to wait till saturday. :(

Now, I really can't sleep anymore. so many things happening. so many problems. i just want to be happy. i just to talk to her properly. i just want to see her. i just want to be free from all this burdens. i just want her to be happy. i just want her to see how much i love her. i just want everything to be fine. please. please. please. :( haay. i may look happy but deep inside i'm really bleeding......... like hell............ its good that nobody can see me right now.......

i sound so girly....

-12:53 AM







LoveIsDangerous

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GEN VALERA

18 years old.
Filipino
Born in Athens,Greece March 13,1992
In the age of 3, family move to Philippines
and now in Singapore.
Doesn't have a lot of friends
Unsually alone
A person With hidden feelings
Feels lonely most of the time
But he loves to smile
He can play Basketball
Loves to play Bass and Guitar.
And .................

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