Thursday, April 1, 2010
BROKEN.
Its Holy Week but for me its LONELY WEEK. Everything doesn't feel right. Everyday has been so bad. now i can't imagine what might happen next. monday i have this feeling that i don't know what to do anymore. tuesday, like nobody wants to see. like nobody trust me. wednesday was the day of delusion. and today. i just noticed that whenever i liked someone. or i can say love someone. there is always something that will make the situation bad. hmm. i know its not valentines but just want to share my past relationships coz of what happened today reminds me of them.
My 1st gf "S" just in 2days we broke up because someone gave me a letter and i dunno who the fuck is that she didn't give me a chance to explain. i learned that if you have a gf. make things clear to the people around you so you won't create confusions.
My 2nd gf "P"was to years older than me. her friends criticize her because they find me childish. lasted only for 1month 2weeks and 3days. i learned that for a males. don't love someone who is older than you. coz mas malambing ang mas bata ang idad and older girls are too mature for you.
My 3rd gf "A" lasted only for 4 days. i can't blame her because she never really liked me. she accepted me just to give it a try or a chance. maybe because of her friends doesn't like the one she likes so they helped me. but one thing i learned is that stop liking someone who is not interested in you from the start. what makes that relationship hard is that you don't know what might happen the next day. the 3rd day we're together. she told me that she's starting to like me. but the next day she broke up with me because she found out that the one she likes also likes her. fuck up right?..
My 4th gf "K". this one lasted for 2 years 1week and 6days. i'm not gonna say anything coz its mainly my fault why our relationship is on and off. i went to singapore its really hard to contact her that time. one thing i learn in relationships is a couple must have communication. our relationship is on and off because of communication. we don't know what is going on with each other.
My 5th gf "R". shes malay. actually she liked me first. but after one month she broke up with me. actually not even one month. 28days only. i don't know whats her reason but i heard that shes not ready. after 2weeks she wanted stead again. i made me think that shes playing with my feelings. you tell me that you're not ready then after 2weeks you want me again. maybe i can accept it if its a month coz i know its hard to be with someone with a different race. so till then. i learned that before having a relationship, understand the person first. so you know what shes thinking.
My 6th gf "T". i like her because shes great. she knows how to cook and take care of a family. but shes short tempered. lasted only for 2months and 4days. were not really happy because we always fight. because of her i learned to have patience.
And finally my last or 7th gf "C". for all the girl i love. she is really the one i really love. as in i really loved her so much. our relationship went well although she is a bit moody, easy get jealous, doesn't know anything about cooking, and i can say that she is physically weak. maybe she can also say somethings about me but we endured it and we're happy with our relationship. but one thing. after 1years and 7months. her parents say that they doesn't like me. actually when we were just new. her aunt, mom or i can say relatives in singapore like someone else for her. they keep on comparing other guys for her but not me. if something happen or she might need something they quickly suggest someone rather than me. at first she told me to ignored them but its hard for me knowing that the people around her doesn't like me. or (HINT) i can say the church doesn't like me. so in then end we lasted for 1year 9months and 4days. a lot of things happened to us. i learned a lot of things from her. if not for her studies or i if i can rephrase it. if not about her parents. we might still me together. TRUST. trust is needed in every relationship. TRUST = LOVE.
hmm. now i'm a single man. finding someone who won't give up on me. Every single one of them did. maybe the last one not. its the circumstances that we broke up. and one more thing. i never broke up with a girl before. all of them did. now starting to like someone. or maybe i already like that someone. but when things are going well, something bad will happen. so i don't want to expect anything anymore. i thinks she is giving up. i think its also my fault for talking to much. thinking to much. and maybe acting to much. haay. now listening to SECONDHAND SERENADE - LIKE A KNIFE. here is the lyrics. its hitting me so bad. makes me wanna cry.
My 1st gf "S" just in 2days we broke up because someone gave me a letter and i dunno who the fuck is that she didn't give me a chance to explain. i learned that if you have a gf. make things clear to the people around you so you won't create confusions.
My 2nd gf "P"was to years older than me. her friends criticize her because they find me childish. lasted only for 1month 2weeks and 3days. i learned that for a males. don't love someone who is older than you. coz mas malambing ang mas bata ang idad and older girls are too mature for you.
My 3rd gf "A" lasted only for 4 days. i can't blame her because she never really liked me. she accepted me just to give it a try or a chance. maybe because of her friends doesn't like the one she likes so they helped me. but one thing i learned is that stop liking someone who is not interested in you from the start. what makes that relationship hard is that you don't know what might happen the next day. the 3rd day we're together. she told me that she's starting to like me. but the next day she broke up with me because she found out that the one she likes also likes her. fuck up right?..
My 4th gf "K". this one lasted for 2 years 1week and 6days. i'm not gonna say anything coz its mainly my fault why our relationship is on and off. i went to singapore its really hard to contact her that time. one thing i learn in relationships is a couple must have communication. our relationship is on and off because of communication. we don't know what is going on with each other.
My 5th gf "R". shes malay. actually she liked me first. but after one month she broke up with me. actually not even one month. 28days only. i don't know whats her reason but i heard that shes not ready. after 2weeks she wanted stead again. i made me think that shes playing with my feelings. you tell me that you're not ready then after 2weeks you want me again. maybe i can accept it if its a month coz i know its hard to be with someone with a different race. so till then. i learned that before having a relationship, understand the person first. so you know what shes thinking.
My 6th gf "T". i like her because shes great. she knows how to cook and take care of a family. but shes short tempered. lasted only for 2months and 4days. were not really happy because we always fight. because of her i learned to have patience.
And finally my last or 7th gf "C". for all the girl i love. she is really the one i really love. as in i really loved her so much. our relationship went well although she is a bit moody, easy get jealous, doesn't know anything about cooking, and i can say that she is physically weak. maybe she can also say somethings about me but we endured it and we're happy with our relationship. but one thing. after 1years and 7months. her parents say that they doesn't like me. actually when we were just new. her aunt, mom or i can say relatives in singapore like someone else for her. they keep on comparing other guys for her but not me. if something happen or she might need something they quickly suggest someone rather than me. at first she told me to ignored them but its hard for me knowing that the people around her doesn't like me. or (HINT) i can say the church doesn't like me. so in then end we lasted for 1year 9months and 4days. a lot of things happened to us. i learned a lot of things from her. if not for her studies or i if i can rephrase it. if not about her parents. we might still me together. TRUST. trust is needed in every relationship. TRUST = LOVE.
hmm. now i'm a single man. finding someone who won't give up on me. Every single one of them did. maybe the last one not. its the circumstances that we broke up. and one more thing. i never broke up with a girl before. all of them did. now starting to like someone. or maybe i already like that someone. but when things are going well, something bad will happen. so i don't want to expect anything anymore. i thinks she is giving up. i think its also my fault for talking to much. thinking to much. and maybe acting to much. haay. now listening to SECONDHAND SERENADE - LIKE A KNIFE. here is the lyrics. its hitting me so bad. makes me wanna cry.
Secondhand Serenade
LIKE A KNIFE
I did a lot, I know you say
I've got to get away.
"The world is not yours for the taking"
Is all you ever say.
I know I'm not the best for you,
But promise that you'll stay.
'Cause if I watch you go,
You'll see me wasting, you'll see me wasting away
'Cause today, you walked out of my life
'Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life.
Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain
And no matter where I go it's always pouring all the same.
These streets are filled with memories
Both good for detected pain
And all I wanna do is love you
But I'm the only one to blame.
'Cause today, you walked out of my life
'Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life.
But what do I know, if you're leaving
All you did was stop the bleeding.
But these scars will stay forever,
These scars will stay forever
And these words have no meaning
If we cannot find the feeling
That we held on to together
Try your hardest to remember
Stay with me,
Or watch me bleed,
I need you just to breathe.
'Cause today, you walked out of my life
(stay with me, or watch me bleed)
'Cause today, your words felt like a knife
(i need you just to breathe.)
I'm not living this life
CURRENTLY HEART BROKEN.
LIKE A KNIFE
I did a lot, I know you say
I've got to get away.
"The world is not yours for the taking"
Is all you ever say.
I know I'm not the best for you,
But promise that you'll stay.
'Cause if I watch you go,
You'll see me wasting, you'll see me wasting away
'Cause today, you walked out of my life
'Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life.
Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain
And no matter where I go it's always pouring all the same.
These streets are filled with memories
Both good for detected pain
And all I wanna do is love you
But I'm the only one to blame.
'Cause today, you walked out of my life
'Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life.
But what do I know, if you're leaving
All you did was stop the bleeding.
But these scars will stay forever,
These scars will stay forever
And these words have no meaning
If we cannot find the feeling
That we held on to together
Try your hardest to remember
Stay with me,
Or watch me bleed,
I need you just to breathe.
'Cause today, you walked out of my life
(stay with me, or watch me bleed)
'Cause today, your words felt like a knife
(i need you just to breathe.)
I'm not living this life
CURRENTLY HEART BROKEN.
-11:59 PM
